Fast Five

I do this thing, you see, where I say I am going update my blog regularly and then, well, I just don't. Let's not make a big deal about it, okay?

And instead of taking this opportunity -- as I said I would -- to write about my current project, I am instead going write about silly things. Because my current project IS writing. Who wants to write about writing? It's tedious. And certainly no one wants to read about writing. Amirite?

So, yesterday, a friend of mine asked if I would like to go see Bridesmaids soon and I replied with an emphatic "yes". There was pretty much only one reason for this; Kristen Wiig. It seems I have developed a habit of seeing films lately based solely on their female star... although seeing Fast Five purely for Jordana Brewster was a totally different thing. And the catalyst that lead to my mum finally discovering that I'm a bit of a perve. Having said that, I really do like her as an actress. No one believes me when I say this, possibly because by that point in the conversation I have already waffled on extensively about how attractive she is. But, just so it's out there, Jordana Brewster = very talented. Ah, I digress...

Do we all remember the list of Sara/hs? How fun was that? So much fun, that I have decided to do a list of Kristens! (A list of Jordanas was going to be a stretch). Coincidentally, the friend who suggested we go see Bridesmaids was the very same friend who unwittingly instigated the list of Sara/hs! Isn't life crazy?!?!

Anyway, here it is:

Please note that my ACTUAL friends named Kristen were not eligible for this list due to unfair advantage. And, I'm fairly confident I don't actually have any friends named Kristen.

My TOP 5 KRISTENs and the reasons why…

1. Kristen Bell.

Veronica Mars.

2. Kristen Wiig.

She's funny. My opinion on this is based mostly on her scenes from Knocked Up. In fact, I will go so far as to say -- possibly controversially -- that she was my favourite thing about that entire film. And I had a huge crush on Katherine Heigl at one point. I also really liked her in Whip It.

3. Kristen Chenoweth

Putting her opposite Allison Janney in the sixth season of The West Wing remains to this day one of my favourite casting decisions EVER.

4. Kristen Connor.

Who? Yeah, pretty much. But, if you ever find a copy of Higher Learning on VHS, I guarantee there will be a very short scene involving Kristy Swanson (Kristen Connor) and Jennifer Connelly that has been watched, rewound and then watched again so many times that the quality of the image will have become very dodgy... at best. Seriously, this happens on EVERY copy of the movie. It was 1995... there wasn't much else.

5. Christian Bale.

What? Here.

And that's it. My favourite Kristens. To be honest, though, my affection for everyone on this list isn't exactly overwhelming. It was really just an excuse to mention Kristen Bell. Twice, if you think about it.

xx

PS. Yeah, that's right... no Kristen Stewart. Deal with it. But, seriously... watch THIS.

The New Girl

Being in the state of having spoken too soon is never quite as unpleasant as it is when the speaking was done from up on one's high horse...

My last day of work, May 2010. "And there it is, ladies and gentlemen..." I said with all the drama of someone who thinks everyone cares, "my last cup!" The lid was on, my apron was off. "I will never make coffee again!" Seriously, you really had to be there to appreciate the amount of conviction (and instant superiority) I threw into that last statement. Scarlett O'Hara would have been proud.

... you have guessed, by now, the statement proved false. In a monumental way. I don't mind so much that, when I got a new job in the States one month later, making coffee was one of my duties. This is because making coffee in an office (and, well, America) consists of chucking a filter in the machine and turning it on. Also because it wasn't my only duty; it wasn't even the main one. And, every now and then, the coffee was for Wes Craven.

It does bother me, however, that upon returning home I've gone straight into a job that is almost identical to the one I left -- coffee making and customer service in a Cafe/Bakery that sells lots of muffins and cakes. I'll take a slice of humble pie, to go... thanks.

My sense of superiority is wearing off slowly as I am forced to spend my days with the little people new friends.

Seriously, though. There is only one upside to being "the new girl" -- the fact that you can bugger up and then give it the old "sorry... it's my first day/week". Some of you might count access to free/cheap muffins, cakes and carbs as an upside. Clearly, you haven't been living in America.

So, one upside. It's the same when you start new at most of these places -- a lot of "now Jess... this is how you sweep around a table" and "do you want to try making an ICEEED COFFEEEE?" -- they either think you're deaf, stupid or twelve.

I'm not really complaining. It's a means to an end. And someone has to give the people their coffee...

Coffee is important. You want coffee. Come get it from Jess. She makes awesome coffee.

Tip big... we've got a movie to make, people!

There's Something About Sara

Blog: Take 2. That’s all I’m going to say. About that.

So, I’m home. For those of you who weren’t all caught up on my movements, there it is. I am back in Melbourne. For many reasons. Most significantly -- 2 weddings and a foundering job market. Now there’s a title for a romantic comedy if ever I heard one!

Speaking of romantic comedies… (Segue. Boom.)…

…this is a new beginning for the blog. I am currently writing what started as a short film script and is now well on it’s way to becoming a feature-length screenplay. I feel that the whole process is going to be an interesting experience. Or, perhaps, just an experience that I am going to get significantly frustrated with and therefore I will require an outlet to vent. Either way, I foresee blog updates in the future. I am not going to change the name… I am under the wonderful delusion that this process and my future in Hollywood are linked.

For now, however, I am going share with you something that is completely unrelated to all that.

Yesterday, while I was having a lovely 5-hour coffee with a friend of mine, I asked her if she liked Sara Bareilles. She believed we had already had this conversation but it turned out she was thinking of the Sara Ramirez conversation from the week before – apparently I like to bang on about women named Sara quite often. Of course, this got me thinking about other Sara/Sarah type people that I like.

Naturally I decided to make a list. A list of Sara/hs. And, because I am that self-indulgent, I am going to share my TOP 5 with you.

Please note that my ACTUAL friends named Sara/h were not eligible for this list due to unfair advantage. And, mostly, because I didn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings.

Without further ado, my TOP 5 SARA/Hs and the reasons why…

5. Sarah Connor

I’m gay.

4. Sarah from Labyrinth

Needs no explanation. But her position as my 4^th favourite Sara/h is the reason I am glad Jennifer Connelly was not in Scream 4. I fear that, even after all these years, if I ever met her the first words out of my mouth would be “Sarah... friend?”

3. Sara the song

Fleetwood. Mac.

2. Sara Ramirez

(Technically Sah-rah but whatever)

Her absolute right to be so high on my list is evidenced by one fact – that playing a lesbian on television is NOT my favourite thing that she does.

She gives me fever.

1. Sara Bareilles

After four years, Little Voice is still my go to album to listen to from beginning to end whenever I just feel like some music. Her 2010 effort, Kaleidoscope Heart, is quickly becoming second in line.

And this.

I must give an honourable mention to Sarah Michelle Gellar. Technically, my affection was always more for Buffy than it was for Sarah. And even then, it was more for the show itself than the character (because let’s face it, the Buffster could get a tad tiresome and speech-y at times). If I were to make a list of my favourite Sarah Michelles, SMG would be the uncontested number 1. For sure.

Do you have a favourite Sara/h?

xx

The popular vote.

I feel like the moment I post this I will get a phone call offering me a job back in Michigan and I will have to change the title of this blog back to "Michegoss"...

That's silly really. It's 1030pm on a Wednesday. And I'm a PA. Jobs don't get offered to me. They get begged for. By me. And honestly I'm not going to turn down a job offer solely for causing me the hassle of changing the name of my blog. I just did it and it took all of 2 minutes. I could handle that again. I just couldn't handle the weather in Michigan. So, it's decided. I'm not going. Wait... it was a hypothetical option. Never mind.

Meanwhile, I am watching The People's Choice Awards and I gotta say this... Kristen Stewart is just plain awkward. Always.

Oh, and the whole point of this post... "Bloggywood" was the unanimous favourite and the blog shall therefore be called so henceforth.

Delightful.

Um... Queen Latifah, award show host fail.

Ok, that's it for now. I've lost my voice. That's actually a non sequitur but I do need some rest.

xx

Please note that now the name has changed so has the URL - bloggywoodjess.blogspot.com

What's in a name...

It's been, like, 2 and a half months. I'm shit.

Honestly, it's mostly because I haven't been able to figure out a new name for the blog. Seeing as though I am no longer in Michigan, Michegoss doesn't really fit. And for the life of me I just can't seem to come up with a decent play on words involving my whereabouts and an apt term for writing about ones experiences. Just try combining "LA" and "shenanigans" and see if it takes you less than 2 months. Here are some of the least stupid ones I came up with (yes, LEAST)...

Chatterfornia
Los Adventureles
Me.S.A. (get it? Instead of "U"...? Urgh.)
Bloggywood

See? It's bloody hard. I am taking suggestions. Although, Bloggywood is kinda growing on me.

Anyway, there is a second reason that I haven't written for a while. I don't have much to say. Seriously. I moved from Michigan to California and that's about it. I have been having a lovely time reading, writing, taking long walks amongst the palm trees... not too shabby.

A little bit of excitement today, though. Due to a delightful stroke of "right place, right time" I am making the move from Orange County, where I have been living with my dear friend Lauren and her lovely husband Oren (yes, for those of you who don't know them, it rhymes), to Van Nuys. It's pronounced Van-eyes, if you were wondering. And seeing as though we are still on the topic of pronunciation, let's go back to Lauren and Oren... hehehe. Ok, 'nough of that. (sorry Tanzers, I love you)

Van Nuys is part of the San Fernando Valley... yes, "The Valley"... like, totally. I'll be there for a few months unless a job takes me out of town. But, for the moment, it's perfect. Very close (at least, as close as you can be in Los Angeles) to lots of things that make me go "oooooh"... Big studios, shiny people and that little old Hollywood sign.

It's a bittersweet move... in the short time I've been in Costa Mesa, I've made some wonderful memories. Holiday parades, family visits (other people's families, but still...), hot tubs, interviewing for a job at Starbucks (a real highlight), Christmas browsing (shopping is for employed people) and Wilson. I think I will miss him the most. (sorry Tanzers, I love you)

WILSON

Christmas was a mixed bag. White Christmas - awesome. Lung capacity at high altitude - rubbish. Presents - awesome. Sick as a dog Christmas Day - rubbish. Learning to snowboard followed by a one hour full body massage on birthday (thank you Tanzers, I love you) - awesome! Muscles after day of snowboarding and massage - rubbish.

I'm not really complaining, it was delightful. I will get around to posting some photos/video soon.

Right now, though... it's, like, time to head to The Valley.

I've missed you. Help me out with a new name. And HAPPY NEW YEAR... good 2011 to you all!
xx